If I had to mention one thing I have learned from Cason (my Fiance') is how to be teachable. From the moment we have been together he has been open minded and willing to learn about all sorts of things. It made me want to be less stubborn and more pliable. I wanted to set down all my own theories and start to listen to God and see what He thought about things.
When we had first started dating, we had a chat about worship. I was very strong on my outlook, and at that moment unwilling to think any other way, then my own. He shared his view point on it with grace, and with a softness. It wasn't as if he was saying I was wrong, and he was right...he simply was just sharing what he felt on the subject. Neither of us changed our minds, but both of us made the choice to be open to see what the truth was about worship.
I remember back in those times when we would talk about things that I was really set on, and I would just ask God to revel the truth, and most of the time I thought it was for Cason, not me. ( Selfish indeed).
Then about a month and a half ago my mom asked me to read Luke 6. She said that it was a great example of how God see's people and treats them. As I read the chapter I expected to just learn more about God, and see how much He loves us. Which I did read, though as I read I noticed God teaching me so many things.
All of a sudden I noticed I was in a place to actually learn what the truth was, even if it wasn't what I had decided on. I started to hear Him tell me about things in my heart that needed to be changed. One of those things was my heart and motive with worship.
I read the verse about if your brother has a plank in his eye, before you judge him, take the one out of yours. Just saying that it is not our job to fix people, and correct them. The only thing I can truly fix is myself, and in doing that I will see people differently. I had always thought that I was keeping myself protected and secure but making sure the people around me, were making the right choices, and being honest and real. When how can I judge someone's heart? I can't.
I would worry that the worship wasn't glorifying God, and that the people were being fake. Then as I read Luke 6 Ithought... my job isn't to make sure everyone is glorifying God, my job is to glorify God REGUARDLESS of what everyone else may or may not be doing. That is all I can really be in charge of...myself. I get to choose.
I have to let God speak to peoples hearts, and trust that if I am trusting God that He will keep me safe, and that He will not lead me into a place that isn't authentic with it's worship.
From that moment I really believe my heart started to soften...be more like Cason's in a way. Being willing to yield to GOD's truth rather then my own.
I think that in life we often times will create our own worlds of safe and secure. Though what God wants more then that, is for us to rely on Him, and by letting go of all the things we think keep us safe, and running to Him, we are more protected and loved then we could ever make ourselves.
The next time I went to a worship service, I loved worshiping. I Just forgot about anything or anyone, and just sang to God. I was free. I had put myself into a box, and then I let myself out and could see all the beauty I was missing out on. God always intended for me to be free, that is what Jesus gave His life for. I was keeping myself from my own freedom!
Man God loves us.
Since that lesson learned, I have been learning so much about ( it feels like ) everything. The way I described it was an overhaul. Feeling as if I had this beautiful house I built, full of all the things I thought we're beautiful. Then God said, " This isn't built on a good foundation, I'd like to take all of this down, and build you a house, first founded on Me, and then filled with the most wonderful things I have for you." You first freak out as you watch your world come down, but as it builds back up, it's amazing.
God's word, and HIS truth is much better then ours, it's learning to let go of what we might want, to let what He has for us be reveled!
Here's a link to read Luke 6 incase you'd like to read it!
