Bee Guards

The other day I was sitting in my lovely homes backyard, and I noticed some bee's flying around.
We have a collection of bee flowers, as I call them. Other people would say we have a garden, but I just say that it's a collection of flowers, that attract the most dangerous species of all time...Bees.

When I was 8 years old I was with a friend, and we both were rolling around in the grass, and I happened to roll over on a bee. I can remember that day so well, and the extreme pain I experienced. I had a deep fear of bee's from that day onward.

Even to this day, I run from bee's, even in front of strangers, who may not know what I am doing. Example: I was waiting for my friends to come to mini golf, and I was sitting outside on a bench, and the golf guy running the place was behind the counter. All of a sudden there was a bee flying around me, and I got up and started running away from it, and making scared noises. I then turned to the guy, and explained to him " I am more scared of bee's then anything...". He didn't have much to say. I was a little embarrassed, but it was hilarious.

This is going somewhere...I promise.

In life we put guards up sometimes, depending on things we have experienced, or things that have hurt us. Even times we don't realize that we have put a guard up, tell someone tells you about it.

When I was sitting in my backyard the other day, as I mentioned, I realized I had a bee guard up. I wasn't relaxed. I sit there, and watch all around making sure one isn't too close, and if one flies by I usually get a little startled. I even go inside sometimes if they are flying around too much. I kinda feel like a security guard for my safety, and it's a really tiring job. I can't just sit around and enjoy the sunshine, because I have to be on my guard, watching and listening for any possible "attack". I am predicting because of a pass bee experience, that all bee's have a secret love to sting people when they aren't watching. That is ridiculous... there is no way a bee would know if you were watching it or not. Bee's can't read my mind, it's as if I think they know I know they are there, and I'm not going to let them get me. I may sound a little nuts... that's fine. haha

The funny part is, the one time I did get stung, the bee didn't even come after me... I rolled over on it. Though I still think that it was all the bee's fault and not mine. I hold a grudge...I admit to it. lol

But see here... I applied this to life and people.

I can put a guard up, and not realize that I am trying to protect myself, because I know what could or has happened before. I assume the person is waiting for me to let my guard down, so they can attack when I am not ready. As if the person is just like everybody else, and everybody else is just like that person. Not very accurate. It takes a lot of your own power and energy to watch their every movement, in case it shows you signs of "attack" or you could say signs of potential heart brake or hurt. Even if in the past you knew someone just like that bee, that never meant to hurt you, but maybe you "rolled over", and they reacted to your decision. Then in their reaction you got hurt too. So then you meet another person, and you keep a watch on them, as if they may turn their back on you. So you only tell them certain things, or only go certain places with them. We put a guard up. Now now now...don't get me wrong. You should always be wise, and use discernment. I wouldn't go into a bee hive and do a dance for them. I know what could make a bee angry, and I wouldn't do that. Same way, I wouldn't go and purposefully invest in someone, and while so knowing they are not safe.

I guess the thought summed up is that, you can't always protect yourself by putting a guard up. It's exhausting, and at times can steal away the joy of a moment. I can't enjoy the sunshine, cause I know a bee might come flying by. Then sometimes I can't enjoy someones company, because I am wondering when they can say something, or do something that could hurt me.

Instead we have to put our hope and trust in God, and not try to protect ourselves. God wants to be our shield and safety. He wants us to hope in Him, because He will never let us down. If we are more concerned with knowing Him, then we will know when the "bee's" are coming. He will show us. It say's he will lead and guide us into all Truth, and we have to believe He will. When I let God show me things, instead of me trying to figure them out...then I can enjoy the sunshine, and enjoying my friends company.

Lean not unto your OWN understanding, but in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will direct your path.