Being a Baby.

and thus begins my year of "new".

I started my nanny job yesterday, and waking up at 6:15 am is more intense then I thought.
I also came to an incredible conclusion... I should say my dad did, and then I thought it was my conclusion.
After an hour or so of hanging with Isaac ( the baby I nanny for ), I ran out of ideas of what to do.
So I put him in the stroller and went for a walk for a little while. I got the idea to call my dad, I knew he would be up. He drives school buses in the morning, so he is up an hour before me!

So I gave him a call as I walked, and talked to him about what to do when I don't know what to do. I kept referring to the situation as " I don't know what else to do with Isaac...", and my dad so perfect said, " Well if he plays by himself, maybe you can find things to do while you watch him." It must have been the way he said it, that my brain fully understood what I had going on. The problem I have is not with Isaac...but...me. Isaac is happy and plays by himself, but I don't know what to do with myself. How backwards is that.

I then had to grow up a little, and say that I was really being the child, and he was being the adult. He is the best kid to watch, super fun and easy to spend time with. He really only cries when you should. If he gets hungry, or tired. We as adult still "cry" about that in a more professional manner though. So I don't blame Isaac for expressing his needs. As adults we just stand around and start making comments out loud to each other like, " man lunch sounds so good right now...". Until everyone gets the idea, and we go. I'm pretty sure if Isaac could talk he would say sometime like that, so he can't...and if I couldn't say anything, I would surely cry as well.

So long story short. Two days in and I have learned more about myself, then I had intended to.
I also get mid-morning naps, that include crazy dreams... I love it. So waking up at 6:15 am is early, but but but, I then get an hour and a half solid ( dream included) nap! AMEN! 

Bee Guards

The other day I was sitting in my lovely homes backyard, and I noticed some bee's flying around.
We have a collection of bee flowers, as I call them. Other people would say we have a garden, but I just say that it's a collection of flowers, that attract the most dangerous species of all time...Bees.

When I was 8 years old I was with a friend, and we both were rolling around in the grass, and I happened to roll over on a bee. I can remember that day so well, and the extreme pain I experienced. I had a deep fear of bee's from that day onward.

Even to this day, I run from bee's, even in front of strangers, who may not know what I am doing. Example: I was waiting for my friends to come to mini golf, and I was sitting outside on a bench, and the golf guy running the place was behind the counter. All of a sudden there was a bee flying around me, and I got up and started running away from it, and making scared noises. I then turned to the guy, and explained to him " I am more scared of bee's then anything...". He didn't have much to say. I was a little embarrassed, but it was hilarious.

This is going somewhere...I promise.

In life we put guards up sometimes, depending on things we have experienced, or things that have hurt us. Even times we don't realize that we have put a guard up, tell someone tells you about it.

When I was sitting in my backyard the other day, as I mentioned, I realized I had a bee guard up. I wasn't relaxed. I sit there, and watch all around making sure one isn't too close, and if one flies by I usually get a little startled. I even go inside sometimes if they are flying around too much. I kinda feel like a security guard for my safety, and it's a really tiring job. I can't just sit around and enjoy the sunshine, because I have to be on my guard, watching and listening for any possible "attack". I am predicting because of a pass bee experience, that all bee's have a secret love to sting people when they aren't watching. That is ridiculous... there is no way a bee would know if you were watching it or not. Bee's can't read my mind, it's as if I think they know I know they are there, and I'm not going to let them get me. I may sound a little nuts... that's fine. haha

The funny part is, the one time I did get stung, the bee didn't even come after me... I rolled over on it. Though I still think that it was all the bee's fault and not mine. I hold a grudge...I admit to it. lol

But see here... I applied this to life and people.

I can put a guard up, and not realize that I am trying to protect myself, because I know what could or has happened before. I assume the person is waiting for me to let my guard down, so they can attack when I am not ready. As if the person is just like everybody else, and everybody else is just like that person. Not very accurate. It takes a lot of your own power and energy to watch their every movement, in case it shows you signs of "attack" or you could say signs of potential heart brake or hurt. Even if in the past you knew someone just like that bee, that never meant to hurt you, but maybe you "rolled over", and they reacted to your decision. Then in their reaction you got hurt too. So then you meet another person, and you keep a watch on them, as if they may turn their back on you. So you only tell them certain things, or only go certain places with them. We put a guard up. Now now now...don't get me wrong. You should always be wise, and use discernment. I wouldn't go into a bee hive and do a dance for them. I know what could make a bee angry, and I wouldn't do that. Same way, I wouldn't go and purposefully invest in someone, and while so knowing they are not safe.

I guess the thought summed up is that, you can't always protect yourself by putting a guard up. It's exhausting, and at times can steal away the joy of a moment. I can't enjoy the sunshine, cause I know a bee might come flying by. Then sometimes I can't enjoy someones company, because I am wondering when they can say something, or do something that could hurt me.

Instead we have to put our hope and trust in God, and not try to protect ourselves. God wants to be our shield and safety. He wants us to hope in Him, because He will never let us down. If we are more concerned with knowing Him, then we will know when the "bee's" are coming. He will show us. It say's he will lead and guide us into all Truth, and we have to believe He will. When I let God show me things, instead of me trying to figure them out...then I can enjoy the sunshine, and enjoying my friends company.

Lean not unto your OWN understanding, but in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will direct your path.

The Ocean & me

I had some time today to read a little... and I came across this verse in Jeremiah, and I kept reading it over. It is a powerful and true thing to say, and that is why I loved it.

" I placed the sand for the boundary of the sea, a perpetual barrier beyond which it cannot pass and by an everlasting ordinance beyond which it cannot go? And though the waves of the sea toss and shake themselves, yet they cannot prevail [ against the feeble grains of sand which God has ordained by nature to be sufficient for His purpose]; through [ the billows] roar, yet they cannot pass over that [barrier]. [ Is not such a God to be reverently feared and worshiped?]

-Jeremiah 5:22

Even though sand is so small by itself, when it is place together it has power. It has the ability to hold the sea. If I were to take a walk along the beach, I could easily bend down and scoop up some sand into my hand. It doesn't have much strength against me picking it up. Though the ocean could sweep me away in an instant, and I had to learn to swim with it, to not be carried away.

The sand overtakes the ocean, and the ocean over takes me. I can't overtake the ocean, but I can overtake the sand. So you would think because I could overtake the sand, that I would be able to over take the ocean... strange how God made the world. Beautiful as all get out, though very complex and simple at the same time.

It took the supernatural power of God to split the ocean in half, so moses could take the people through. Sand doesn't need God's supernatural power, God made sand's job to hold the ocean back. It is truly astounding to me.

This is a Laura thought but:

God didn't want to have a relationship with sand, or the ocean... He wanted to have a relationship with us. There are many things that we have to believe God for, and ask Him about. Moses had to take the rod, and place it in the ocean... he needed God. We were made to need God, He made us that way. " Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." God wants us to believe in Him, and watch Him work in our lives. He loves us.

So even though the sand has so much power over the ocean, we have power over the sand. God made life to have Him be apart of it. In our world. if the sand had power of the ocean, we wouldn't be able to have power over the sand. I love that God makes impossible things happen.

( my friend and I, enjoying Colorado together)

Life is full of adventures, though sometimes you have to look for them.

For the past three year(ish), I have been having quite the adventure. I didn't sit down and think about how to make my life full of excitement, but instead I asked God what He had in mind, and it happened to be on the menu.
I have been jumping around, and doing all sorts of things here and there. Then I pop home, catch up with friends and family, then do it all over again.

( Joy, and I, the Forgoston's were visiting Colorado this summer)

This november will mark a WHOLE year that I have been in America...or really anywhere. The funny part is, it is slightly challenging to stay put. It is as if my body is use to doing something, and if it's not doing what it's use to, then it worries about if it's doing something wrong. I am learning it is not so much the location, but more what you are doing. It doesn't matter if I am across the ocean, or down the street... I just want it to be right where God wants me.

So really I'm learning how to make life an adventure no matter if I am here, or there. Right now in a way it is quite epic of me to stay here, and work a normal job, and make money, and use a budget. I'd say that is something most of my friends already know how to do, and I have yet to learn about many a things like that. When you are away from America, you have to learn different kinds of things like: how to use a map, bobble your head, and figure out different kinds of food brands you've never heard of. So I did learn lots of things, just not lots of things that people know. Does that make sense?

( Hannah, and I this summer )

Without further a do, here is my next escapade.

My sister and her OH SO wonderful Mr. Bean, have decided to make their relationship level increase. Increase to the level of matrimony! That will be occurring early next year, and they happen to live at the bottom of the world, in the most beautiful place, that takes 16 hours on a plane, two car rides, one boat trip, and a partridge in a pear tree. I couldn't be more excited, but that means I need to get on my game, and start my saving, and planning of a wonderful day.

There were a few "offers" on the table for me to do things over seas, but I really didn't feel lead to go anywhere. Then I thought a bit about moving to another state, and doing some bible studies, or just seeing what happens when I get there. Then one night I asked God that if he didn't want me to go to another state, that he would show me where to go. That night, I had an AWESOME dream about being somewhere in Asia, still listening, and praying about it. I have a couple ideas in my head, but waiting and using wisdom. I really believe God was showing me things that will happen sometime soon, maybe next year after Jess and Mr. Beans BIG DAY!

So. In the mean time, while I am preparing for anything. I was asked to be ( drum roll please...) a..... NANNY! I am going to be a pro nanny, or I guess I could say I am now, but I don't actually know how I get qualified as a pro nanny.

( this is the little guy I'll be watching this year!)

There is a family here in Colorado, that I lived with in India, they came over at the same time to help the Forgostons. They are also great friends of mine, and I consider them to be my family. They will be busy this year in the morning's leading a new bible college course, and asked if I could watch their little guy in the mornings. At first I told them I couldn't, because I was planning on moving again, and didn't think I'd be staying in Colorado. Then I took a trip to visit my sweet friend Abbie in Oklahoma, and one night her mom sat down with me, and we had a little chat. In someway God really used her to encourage me to stay in Colorado, and nanny. She just said it in such a way, it is as if my heart finally realized... "yes, It's the right thing to do...".

As of this coming August, I will be starting to nanny for them, and doing a little catering on the side still. Hoping to do a girls bible study, for my mom's friends daughters. That is one thing I don't want to stop doing while I am in Colorado, is serving. I want to look at Colorado as my next destination, not as "home". I don't want to get all cozy and forget God has stuff to do through me here.

I guess that is my little update for the year. Until December, I'll be doing that, and then heading to New Zealand for Jessica's wedding! Life is full of so much happiness and adventure, you just have to choose to look at it, and soak it up.

Missing God.

In life there are so many things we truly do not understand until we experience them.

There is a story I read the other day in the bible about this man who was told by God to go into a wilderness. Once he was in the wilderness, God said he would find a well for water, and that birds would bring him meat during the day. So he followed God's idea, and there was the well, and the meat. Then the well dried up...So then God told him to go and find a lady in a town, and ask her to make him some bread. The tricky part was that lady happen to not have any money, and was going to buy enough oil to make her last meal for her son, and then...die. Tragic...but real. So he finds this lady, asks her to make him bread with her last bit of oil...and that he promised God would provided. So she does. shockingly. Then BAM she supernaturally has abundant supply of food! Hooray. Now don't get to excited... The lady's son then all of a sudden..dies! Then the lady tells this fellow that asked her to make him bread, that he put a curse on them. The man took her son, and prayed over him, and laid...over him 3 times, and then. He rose from the died. The final words of the woman are something like, " you truly are a man of God." End of story.

Now that is for sure not the King James version. but but but. It is how I see it going down. After I read that story, I had this passing thought, If I was that guy, I would have for sure thought "I missed God... the lady's kid justdied...??!" The amazing bit is that he really was hearing from God, and doing what God had in mind, but the world still has a part to play inside of God's plan...so sometimes things get a bit messy, but it doesn't mean that God isn't working it all out. You just have to trust that you TRULY heard him clearly, and you know your doing the right thing.

It then reminded me of Belfast. When I went to Belfast, Northern Ireland. It was a good year...but a very very challenging year. I ran into quite a few difficult situations and circumstances, that were out of my control. When I came home, I thought about the amazing people I met, and great things that God did there. Though a small part of me was wondering if I really did hear from God, or if I missed it. Since it was hard, I sorta had the passing thought, that I messed up somehow. Then when I read that story in the bible, I understood.

Even though that guy went to that well, and then it dried up...It didn't mean he heard wrong, it just ment...the well dried up...next.

you know. I am realizing that I was suppose to be in Belfast, but I was expecting perfection because I was in the will of God. Being in the will of God doesn't not mean you live in perfection, and everything goes right. It is that in the mist of living out his will, you have peace, regardless of the outcomes. You trust God is showing you what to do, and He is working out all the kinks.

" In this world you will have trouble, BUT be of GOOD cheer... I HAVE OVERCOME the world." When the world tries to tell you that you're overcome, you remind them, that God already has overcome, and nothing can beat you out!

I am currently sitting in my second favorite place in the world.
Oklahoma.
Surprising...yes. but but but.
My dearest, sweetest friend Abbie lives here.
I get to see her face, at least once a year... if that. When I do, we have the most fun possible.
She is that kinda friend, you only find ONCE IN A LIFETIME. and I found her.

Its a big deal.
She has red hair. and I have brown.
That's the cool part.

I love the way we don't have to do anything, and seem to still love doing it.
She brings out a piece of me, that only she can. There is a quote I found that is perfectly put.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin

That is how we are.

On a smaller note. I have discovered a new world... I don't know how to better say it. A world that has a bit of boy in it.
The other week, I was officially asked out to dinner, and I found myself saying yes. Then I happened to find myself in the delightful presence of a handsome lad, and agreeing to " be together".

So I'd say abbie ( abs, as I call her) have a lot of chat about. Or a "new" topic. It's fun how God can make life surprising, right in the middle of what seemed to be quite normal.

So that is a quick update! Hooray for new adventures!

Wedding Time.

I started my new summer job, that I am secretly in love with. If I could marry a job, it would be this one. I get to wear all black, serve people great food, clean up, decorate, laugh, and watch two people get married! a.k.a I'm doing catering!

My first wedding was at the Fine Art Center, and I thought I was working from 3-6pm, turns out that is set up. We were there tell 11:30pm, and my arms almost fell off. I had never held a tray in my life, or served food so fancy. I only dropped one fork during clean up, and managed to keep a smile on my face.

I had to memorize the appetizers and carry them around, and act high class. I laughed as I left the catering room, to go out, they had me repeat what I was holding over and over...and it was more difficult then I imagined. " Bacon wrapped dates, with almond paste"... so many random words put together, that I have to make sound delicious.

The next goal was to carry a bread tray...a huge bread tray. One I felt, was the size of Texas. I had it balanced with one hand under the tray, and then my other hand placing the bread rolls on the salad plates...ha. I should also state there were two different rolls, and sometimes I had to go searching for the preferred roll, and not drop the whole tray on the ground and go hide. I did happen to elbow a Sargent in the head, as I walked pass with my massive tray. No harm done...

In the middle of cleaning up plates, I would talk to the people a tad bit, and ask if they enjoyed the food. Then this lady, turned and said, " You are so sweet, and have the kindest nature, you need to tell your boss for a good tip!". I told her that her saying that to me, meant more then any tip! It was a boost of encouragement!



I have worked a few more event's sense then, and learned more and more. Like: you need really good shoes, and snacks. I worked a wedding the other day, at the most beautiful venue, they had a bluegrass band play the whole night. I was loving that. It was kinda a wooden wedding, the decoration's were so thrifty and outdoors like. We get to set up the decorations, and all! During the wedding we started cleaning glasses, plates, beer bottles, napkins. etc. As I was cleaning up, I started laughing at myself. I noticed I was pointing at bottles across the room, and then going over to them, and checking if they were empty. I would point and say, " there's one..." then I'd go over, like I was going to have a conversation with a empty beer bottle, and take it for a walk to the trash can. Hilarious. I only wonder what the people I work with, think of me.

Then two nights ago I ended up working a wedding of a family friend, and they were all there celebrating. I loved having some familiar faces around as I ran from place to place, looking useful. ha, There are this gigantic tables that we have to roll out, and I'm not quite use to them yet, so as I rolled them, a few times they almost fell over. It was pretty dramatic to say the least...if I could stop and laugh out loud, I would. I try to stay professional. So I would roll the table slowly and carefully until I found a strong person, and give it to them. safety first.

I find a little time for secret dancing. While the guest are away dancing, we go and clear the tables, and I try to get my dancing in there, cause the music is so good, its hard not to do a little gig. We are not suppose to dance I don't think, cause I mean...we aren't invited to the wedding as guests. So it makes sense...




Anywho. That's it for now, I am loving summer,work,friends,yoyogurt,settlers of Catan, and how warm it is outside! God is the best planner around... ask Him to plan your day for you, He has great idea's in mind.