Longest Blog- but well worth the read. xo

Today marks a very important day in my life. For many different reasons, that I would love to share with you. Four years ago I decided to go to bible college, instead of university. I remember before I had made the decision to go to bible college, I went with my parents to UNC to get an idea of what university is like, and I broke down crying. I knew that in my heart God hadn't called me to go to university.

I wanted to become a missionary ever since I was 14, and went on my first short term trip to El Salvador. I just didn't know I could fully pursue it as a lifestyle. After going to UNC, I went to my pastor and asked him where I could go to be a missionary and he said, and his words I won't forget. " Before you can go and teach someone what you believe, you need to know it first". What he was really saying was, I should follow the desires in my heart, and the first step towards that is to get learn what I believe.

I stepped into Charis Bible College in August 2007, and it happened to be that the first friendly face I saw was Elise Tuff ( now Johnson ;) I met her in 7th grade choir, I believe that was a God plan, to have a familiar face there. I laugh remembering that I didn't bring my bible that day, and didn't think I would need it on the first day...and Elise got a good laugh too, and she had happened to bring an extra one to school, and gave it to me. Come to find out Elise had just arrived back in America for her 2nd year of college, after doing her first year in Belfast, Northern Ireland!

I sat through most of my first year, by myself, and not wanting to meet one person. I wanted to learn as much as I could so I could go out, and teach what I learn to people all over. Then come February 2008, I was invited to an 80's dance party, and there became dear sweet friends with Abbie Parker. It may have been the awesome music, or the terrible clothing or the combo, that brought our friendship together...but I'd say more so...God.

In that same month... I felt God tell me to go to Belfast, Northern Ireland and help the school. When I called the directors, who at the time I had no idea who they were... and asked. They then went on about how they had been praying for a worship leader to come! So I decided that was an "open door", and began my steps towards going over seas. Not only to help the the directors, but to finish my 2nd year and graduate there. I remember going up to the director of the international CBC's, Wendell parr, with shaking hands and not much alibi...other then " God told me". He said, " If you get all your ducks in a row...you can go". I had never tried to line ducks up so fast in my life!

( and then some miracles happened, fill in this spot______________________________etc.)

I met the directors that summer, and was on a plane to Belfast in August 2008! I remember writing in a journal some wonderful friends gave me before I left, " I know what it feels like to be right in the CENTER of God's will now..." I just knew I was going to right place, at the right time. I spent the next 9 months, 1 birthday, 1 Christmas, etc. surround by Irish men and women, and lots of challenges and laughter. I'd say I was cornered ( by my circumstances) to be grown up, and make decision's without the help of my oh so loving mother. I went on a missions trip to Austria and fell in love with teaching to strangers from another place! I graduated, with some of my most important friends I have ever had in my life...without them keeping me warm and feed, I don't know if I would have made it!

( in case you might not have realized...this blog is going to be a long one...a lovely long one)

In January 2009 while in Belfast, I heard about a family in India that had started a bible college. Russ, David, and Judith Forgoston. I had never met them, but heard that in December 2008 they had a baby girl named Hannah. They were currently in America speaking at the bible college, and my mom was at school. I felt in my heart God telling me to help them. I asked my mom if she would talk with them, and let them know. When she went up to them, and said, " My daughter wants to come and help you guys in India". They said they had been praying, and were NOT surprised that it was being answered. I emailed them, and we made plans for me to go over for a couple months that coming fall to help.

( miracles go here_________________) I didn't tell them at the time, I didn't have the money to go... because I believed if God wanted me there...It was His job, and I trusted He had all the money. They planned a time for me to play a song at our church to raise money, and as I was driving to church that Sunday, God told me, " Today I will be paying for your WHOLE trip". After church, a man I had never met, came up and said, " I want to buy your tickets to, and from India". The rest of the money that was raised completely covered the cost of my living as well!!!! God loves me. ha

Long story short. Not only did I fall in love with India, but the Forgoston. They are now my second family, that I NEVER intend on forgetting! I became as they call me, " The Super Nanny". I learned how to teach, be brave, be flexible, be sweaty, and be honest and REAL!
What I learned from them, I feel I could never repay... a life changing experience.

I remember flying to India, and crying the whole time...thinking I was going to die. Then I cried all the way back home, thinking I didn't know when I'd ever see these wonderful people again...( don't worry... I do!)

I then quickly flew home, re-packed and moved to New Zealand to live with my sister and her super fantastic man Bean. I lived and worked there for 5 months, and going there I expected to change peoples live, bring Jesus there, and teach the gospel. I thought that whatever job I got, I would just love the people, and they would want to know God.
...we should all remember to keep our eyes open to what God is trying to show us.
I ended up growing more then anyone else. I didn't change New Zealand, but New Zealand sure showed me a few things. I got to completely fall in love with my sister, she is so stunning, and full of life. I believe that God wanted me and her to see each other in new ways, and learn about how wonderful each of us are. My sister brings out a side in me, no one else in the whole world could. I learned that sometimes you don't actually know someone...tell you take the time to. Thanks Jess for letting me be apart of your beautiful little world...I love you. and the shimmy.

From there I jumped back into America, and worked at a summer camp for the YMCA, and started saving money, not sure what the next fall would hold. The Forgoston's came back into town for a few weeks in the summer, and we sat around talking, and they convinced me once again to go back with them for a few months in the fall, and help out. I agreed...and come August 2010 I jumped unto another plane ( God help me...ha) and landed into my " second home." I love India .... did I say that already? ha.

I wanted to help out in India again...but I also wanted to do a 3rd year Internship at CBC, so they approved me to spilt my year between India and Colorado! So I taught a couple classes, learned about how to be pregnant ( not me...Judith Forgoston), and how to hold a new born. To be a good leader, and to listen better. Not try to be perfect, but do my best. Make mistakes...and still be happy. ha
I didn't want to leave...but was so looking forward to going to Colorado again and finishing my internship.

November 2010 I flew back to Colorado, with a few days before my birthday. I was THRILLED. This would be the first time in two years I'd be home for my birthday and all the fun holidays!
Since November I have been sitting in classes, with some incredible teachers, that have sow so much truth in me... it is pouring out! I met some friends that I will carry around with me no matter where we each go. One in particular I must mention.

Sara Wilson Forgarty. Her impact on my life, is one hard to describe. She is a person that doesn't ask for recognition...but gets it because her light is so bright. She practically dances through the halls at school, and befriends all visitors or non visitors. ha. She has a joy and happiness you can't even comprehend...knowing where she has come from. Her story is one that you wouldn't want to read in a book, and you wish you could replace for another one. I am truly amazed by her love and compassion, after not ever really experiencing it herself. When I came back to CBC Colorado in November this year... I felt a bit shy, and didn't know where to fit. Sara showed me that I don't have to fit anywhere... I can just be me. She has said the sweetest most kind words to me, that I won't ever forget. I love her, and how she is free and fearless in the face of man, she loves the people I am afraid to love. She gives more of her time, and money then should be allowed. She makes me want to live life for God...OUT LOUD! Thank you for showing me what life is TRULY about Sara. love you.

And back to today... today I celebrate the end of 3rd year. I have done it. After 3 years, I don't even know where I could begin... I finally know who I TRULY am...In Christ. Its not about me being perfect, or being a nice person. Its about how truly beautiful Christ is, and how perfect HE is, and He gave His life for me, so I could forever be HIS! I finally can say, GOD LOVES ME. and know it in the depths of my heart, it is etched on it forever.

His love overwhelms my heart. I have always found it a bit strange when people say, " I know God loves me." I think, " me too..". Then just last night we had a worship service and my super friend Jordan D ( who actually knows how to spell his last right anyways...ha) began singing...

" He is Jealous for me, loves like a hurricane I am tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy...when all of sudden I am UNAWARE of these afflictions ECLIPSED by glory, and I realize just how beautiful You are, and how GREAT Your affections are for me...and whoa...HOW HE LOVES US ... Whoa... Oh how HE loves us...how He loves us...whoa."

In that moment... I started to cry, and in my heart for the first time... I knew... I KNOW. that God loves me. He really does...not because of me, and anything I can or could ever do...but because that is what HE does...that is who He is... LOVE!

Thank you for spending the time to read these stories, and be apart of my life. Thanks for sowing words of wisdom, and encouragement, money, and laughter. I am so blessed to have gone so far, and so close, and learned so much. I believe there is more ahead HERE that God has for me, and I'm looking forward to it. But I just wanted to, as a close to my Charis Bible College "life" say...thank you. so much.