The Real Deal

So lately,
I have been loving that Wellingtons sunshine rays have come out to greet me on my morning walks to work. The wind has been a bit absent, except yesterday and today it was blowing crazy.

As you know, in my recent posts I have been talking about "fame". Never really think much more about it, other then my desire to sit down for a cup of tea with Meryl Streep and ask her how she's done it. I always imagine having a one on one chat with someone who has made it "big". Then ask them all the questions that you ask normal people, and expect extraordinary responses. I could image me wide eyed, and unable to break from their words. Seeing as I have never had a conversation with a "fame maker" before ( other then Stacie Orrico when I was 10...and at the time I didn't have any great questions to ask) I really have no idea what it would be like.

Then the other day I realized. It would be like having a normal conversation with anyone else you didn't know. Except they would probably have more stories about themselves, then anyone else. Not a problem, then again not very interesting. Actors are just like anyone else here. They are working, and earning money. Its a career. People fall in love with the characters, therefore getting there love for a character mixed up with the real life person.

anyways. The other day, I was having a chat with my sister. About everything she has done, and is wanting to accomplish. She has so many amazing opportunities ahead of her. Though with a humble attitude, and professional outlook she makes it seem like anything is truly possible. As she was sharing, I found myself completely inspired by her, and wanting to listen to every word. Listening to someone I knew so well, but then again hearing brand new things about them, is so exciting. As I sat there, I began to think of things I wanted to pursue, and accomplish as well. Thinking, if she has come so far, then I can as well ( with Gods 100% help).

Afterward I realized, I felt as if I had a conversation with someone well known. Someone who knew what they loved, and were following after it. I wanted to remember all the things that were talked about. Then it hit me... I don't ever have to sit down with a stranger, who is famous to seem inspired, or important. I can sit with someone I care about, and love and feel as if the whole world is watch us and being completely astonished by what they hear.

I am learning that a camera can not make someone famous. Its in the eye of the beholder. Its who I choose to see as *famous* that actually makes them that way.

Red Carpet.

Today as I walked home from work, the street to our little cottage ( shimmy shack attack) was blocked off. Down our street there is a main theater, where they show films. Well today was the New Zealand Premiere of Lovely Bones. So Wellington had rolled out the red carpet all the way down the road. Fans slowly were gathering along the pathway. It was covered with security and paparatizi. Though I could count myself as one, I secretly pulled out my camera and tried to steal a few good shots of the beautiful and famous. Though I am short and not good at standing tippy toed for long... I got a couple pictures. It was my first time every seeing a red carpet, and movie stars. It was funny. I thought maybe I would get nervous, but I saw them, and rather I just thought " they are just like me." Although they were dressed head to toe in perfection. Perfect hair, and the dresses you can only dream about...they still were people. I loved seeing that side of reality. I am not quite sure how great Lovely Bones the movie is, but the actors and actress seemed super fantastic. It was great day, one for the books.

This little Light of mine.

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...
This is little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine...let it shine. let it shine, let it shine.

So today.
I was talking with my mom about how life ( the world) can sneak up out of no where and try to take you out. I have felt for the past few days a bit out of breath, and out of creativity. I find myself after watching films, or reading novels that I am sad they are not real. The thing is, deep down, I would love to be an actress. The idea of becoming some else for a short while is enchanting. Imaging in my mind, a life that is completely different then my own. So I pretended that watching celebs on The Ellen show, and joining twitter would bring me closer to "fame". A silly thing to try to accomplish, in the midst of living at the bottom of the world. It was more a pull towards the idea of people knowing me. Which after a chat with my mom, she pulled me out of my rut and back into reality.

See the world has these crazy things they find that are important. Then I believe it. It truly is so strange. Then again I did read today in the bible about this very thing. " For all that is in the world-the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life-is not of the Father, but of the world." -1 john 2:16 So pretty much that is: looking at yourself, comparing yourselves to others, then being prideful about it.There isn't anything wrong with fame, but it's what happens after the fame. Or before. If I try to strive to have all these things that I think would make me happy. or make me "feel" good, they wouldn't last long. I would love to act, but I want to know in my heart of hearts that it wouldn't ever be for the world, or fame. It would be because I knew that is what I was suppose to do. Gods plan.

My mom and I started talking about, some of the characters from the bible who became famous, not on purpose, but because their hearts were in the right place. David: killing a giant one day, taking care of sheep the next, the king noticed him after killing a giant, then David became king him self. Esther: an orphan, randomly chosen to be queen out of all the women in the land. She was just hanging out, doing what she thought she was suppose to be doing.

I guess I took a closer look at what fame should really look like. It should be a picture of a miracle, something that could not have ever happened without God's help. I want to fall into what God has planned for my life, not because I was forcing and fighting by myself to get there, but because God was placing me there as I continued steadly in what He wanted me to do first.

I kinda would get a bit down after watching all these actors and actress's talking and looking beautiful. Then I found this interview with Miley Cyrus. I have never been a "die hard" fan. Though what I do like about her, is how she doesn't try to be anyone but herself. A lady asked her " So what do you think of Twilight?", and without hesitation she said, " I don't believe in it, I don't like the idea of people falling in love with characters." I don't know if those were her exact words. But what I loved was hearing someone who was really well known, not being afraid to be different in their thinking. Its inspiring in a way, to see a little light among so much gray. Thanks Miley.

So Long post...short. I am learning that being who God created me to be, is more important then having the whole world know me by name. Instead the One who made the whole world, knows me by name. I am excited though to see where He takes me...so far, so good.

New Zealand Update.

Considering I have not blogged in a while. I thought an update was appropriate.

I am working away here in New Zealand, and beginning to really enjoy it. It may be highly influenced by my first two paychecks I got last week. Though I think it also has something to do with me starting to get to know some friendly faces around this place. Jessica, Ben and I have been highly busy.. being not busy at home. I love the thought after the clock rolls rounds to 4:53pm, that in 15 Min's I will be in the front door, with my Pj's on and laying across the couch. I must admit that about a week ago, as a surprise, Ben rented Twilight for Jess and I to watch with him. He actually rented it as a joke, because we had been making fun of Twilight. Though half way through, we both were aw struck and shhing Ben while vampires captured our imaginations. The next day, Jessica walked in the front door and said " read my mind?", and then I thought for a bit and responded, " you want to watch twilight again?!", "YES, that's crazy you knew!" she said. I found it not that hard to guess, considering the excitement in her face. By Saturday we had made plans to see the second one "New Moon Saga" on the big screen. After we stared at shirtless werewolf's, and lovestruck vampires for 2 hours the film ended, and we were left hanging on the last words. We then deiced to purchase the next novel, knowing the next movie won't be out tell the summer. So as of currently Jessica, and I have been sucked into, what I call the " Twilight Black Hole". I read the 3rd book in 3 days, and I don't actually read books. Its been on the top of my "talk about" list. When I meet someone, " Hey! have you seen twilight?". Lame sauce I know, but really reading a book is the closer version of the real film.

Other then falling in love with fictional characters, I have been filing away and answer phones. Currently my other job has picked up a bit, and I have been doing all sorts of things. I am beginning to think they trust me on the computers. Where as when I first arrived they asked me to alphabetize a stack of papers. There a few people worth mentioning in this blog from my work. Alex. He not only holds my little brothers first name, but the ability to make fun of every American word that comes out of my mouth. He trys to repeat it wondering if he sounds American. FAIL. I do find it quite entertaining. I asked him if they wear clogs here, he then repeated " Clogs?!" in his fake American accent. nice. Also Jay, who is leaving I think this week for the UNITED KINGDOM. I warned him the weather would be miserable ( no offense UK). Jay is not a big fan of Christmas music...sorta like the Grinch of the office. Though Alex on the other hand is our own personal office Santa Claus. I forget that Christmas is coming, until he turns on the Christmas radio station. Its shocking how but I forget that its Christmas here. Jay mumbles something about how much he hates the music, and Alex goes searching for Opera Christmas music. The mumbling gets louder, then so does the music. Hilarious. I end up humming along, hoping Alex doesn't turn it off considering Jays disapproval. Good old office combat.

ah what else. Oh yes. I bought a guitar tuner the other day, which I was so pleased about.
and I am almost done working here at Jessica's Office... countdown: 3 hours!

( this whole blog sounds like how twilight was written....I wrote it like a chapter to a novel...dissapointing...the book is effecting my creative blogging abilities...)