While I was in the ' Shimmy Shack' as Ben and Jess call their humble abode, the city was getting wild. Today there was a huge rugby match on called " The Sevens". In case you are wondering why they call it that, I will not be able to assist you. I bet you could google it and find out some crazy stuff. I think it happens once a year. Its a two day event as well. Loads of people buy tickets, and dress up. I mean they really dress up. The games don't start tell the afternoon, but the drinking and costumes begin long before the games start.
So, I started my movie at 10, and by the time it had finished I could hear music from the city inside the 'shimmy shack'. I stood by the kitchen window and looked out over the city lights, and the water, and imagined what was going on down there, it was about 12:30 am. I started to have this thought, " God, am I doing what you have called me to do, am I fulfilling your purpose while I'm down here, should I be doing something different?". I guess staring out the window reminded me that I have a destiny, and I don't want to hide it. Being here at times, makes me a bit careful with my little light. I want to make sure it is shining, but sometimes I try to put it under a basket.
I walked into my room, and just sat and thought about my heart for people who don't know the truth about God. I felt like " God, how can I help anyone?". In that moment God reminded me, that He already came and did everything He could possibly do, and more. That it is not my job to try to change the world, that was His job and He already did that. People just get to choose if they want the change He brought, or not. Even though I still felt a bit overwhelmed, it was a good reminder.
Afterwards, I got into my Pj's and started thinking about the places I have been, and what I've done. I started thinking, " I guess you learn from everything in life, and you gain experience. I've really grown." I felt as if God stopped me in mid thought. " We aren't called to go places to 'gain experience', or to 'learn something'. The reason we go somewhere is because that is what I ( God ) had share with you to do. Go to all the nations, and preach the gospel, heal the sick..." For the first time, I honestly understood what I was saying, and I didn't believe my own words. I could hear God's and they were more real.
I have heard so often, " Laura, you are really going to grow and learn from this, you will be able to apply this in other areas of your life". Now after hearing what I really believe God spoke to me about "going places", I know that will happen, but that's not why I do any of it. It happens to be that along the way as I am doing Gods will, that I do learn things. He didn't send me out to learn things, He sent me out to MARK 16:15-18 " Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover." God's purpose was never for me to suffer, never for me to have to go through hard times to learn things John 10:10. I live a world that will come against what I have been promised by God, and try to steal it away, or make situations seem harder then they actually are.
I realize the disciples went out, and did what Jesus had told them to do. They ran into difficult situations and circumstances. Then I see why God sent His Holy Spirit, to remind us of Him, and what He has given us. He knew that in the middle of doing what He had in store for us, things in the world could try to choke the Word. That is why it is so important for us to know who God is, and believe it, or else we could believe that all these 'learning curves' were from Him.
Now when I think about all of Paul's writings in the New Testament, it make's more sense. It was like he wanted to tell people, this is all happening, but REMEMBER the Truth. It is bigger then this. Paul never said, " Everyone you are really going to learn a lot, and grow a lot of life experience when you get to this place,that you can use later on down the road..." We use what God has given us NOW, not later on down the road. God has equipped us with everything we need through His Holy Spirit, and we can use it now. Then we can also you is later on down the road too...ha.
I stood in my room thinking about all of this, and felt as if God had told me a secret...that really wasn't a secret at all. " Laura, don't feel you have to suffer, or have to have a hard time anymore...what I want you to do is remember Mark 16, when I told you what your calling was, remember Who I am, and what I have given you, use everything, and remember you are an overcomer through Christ. " 1 Corinthians 2:12
wow...actually as I am typing this I am learning....a lot. I may have gain experience through the places I have been, but God's kingdom is gaining more people day by day, and that is more important then any experience I could ever gain in the world.
" You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world". 1 John 4:4
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